Yesterday I went to watch the movie "I am number 4". I liked the part that they said: " Mogadorians fall in love only once, and forever". From one side it is very romantic only when both of your are from the same planet. But in real life, when the other half does not feel the same, then it can be quite painful....
From my point of view, I would say love only once and forever, whenever you think you found the one. But if it doesn't work out, don't give up your hopes in LOVE...
I'm someone who has had many relationships, both short and long. The long ones around 3 years but finally didn't work out. I kind of always had that mindset that "this is the one" and would last forever...but then it wasn't and I was the one ending them... You are probably thinking, then why you are the one talking about love only once and forever? Well, just to share with you what real life is...
Love is not only about passion, love is not only about finding someone that really loves you and take good care of you. My motto is that, there is always someone out there that is much better than us, much better than the one we are currently loving. Searching for the perfect match would never end if we don't learn how to keep and maintain a relationship, how to add that extra effort to make this relationship be the only one that would last forever....
I'm actually lucky to be a very adaptable person, so changing for me is not hard at all. I know, some would say "that person who is destine to love me should accept me the way I am". But then, that's how my first relationship ended. Both were too young to be willing to change, it was just passion...i love you, you love me, but why can't you xxxxx..... So making changes is necessary in a relationship, as long as it does not compromise you values, or as long as you don't feel uncomfortable. You change, because you try to make it work...
Having someone that takes good care of you, can be more than enough for some people. But it wasn't for me, thinking that you would spend the rest of your life with someone, I think of growing old together and spending each day together..(starting to sound scary for some people. And it could really be if you both don't have much in common or much to talk about). Of course future is uncertain, but there should at least be something at the present time that might bother you and then you think, would that bother me even more when we grow old? Then you try to work it out now, and if it doesn't, then...you know what's next.
It's been more than 6 years now that I've been with the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with (see? don't be afraid, always maintain that mind set, cuz doubting can be a barrier in a relationship). And we still have that passion, we still have that chemistry, we still miss each other so much. We still have that feeling that wish to be next to each other 24 hours of the day, and the most important thing is that, when I think about the future nothing really bothers me, I'm just eager to reach those 10,20,30,40,50 years or more that God would have mercy on us....
So my summary for today is:
- Fall in Love only once and forever in every relationship
- There is always someone better than us and than him/her (but if you really want to have a long lasting and happy relationship for once and for all, work this one perfect rather than hoping for the perfect one)
- Don't give up in LOVE...be hurt and learn
- After you learn, you will be more willing to change yourself in the next relationship (at least I hope you will)
P.S.: Please note that this is from personal experience, it doesn't mean whether it is right or wrong, neither it would mean that it would work for you the same way. I think the most important thing is to understand oneself. It is not hard to think that we understand love, but then to evolve it into a relationship, it takes understanding of other areas in life, such as life itself, family, and work
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Life Philosophy: Life as a game
When I was a kid, I was a weird kid with weird views of life. I remember that it was around the age of 4 to 6 when I first grabbed a knife and pointed it to my tummy. I was thinking, what if I die today? Life was like the lines on the palm of our hands, like a written destiny, full of paths that you can see where they end. It was just like a game.
(This post just got inspired by the house bombed by an airplane on the TV. And then it just reminded me to how life was or is like a game)
What are your outlooks on life? It has been a while that I haven't think about it, cuz I'm just focusing on making it better each day. But have you ever had that flash in your head, when you think about it and ask yourself: What am I doing? what's the point? why I even have to do it? I used to think about it so much that it made me enter to a phase of depression.
There are so many quotes on what LIFE is, so life can be a game. No matter what it is, the point would be to think on the positive side of it. What can I say, is the Ying-Yang effect, in every goodness there is badness and vice versa (it always works for me to think like that =P)
So, Life as a game:
-You are the one playing it, no one can play it for you
-Every game has its obstables, otherwise, it won't be fun
-You never know how it ends, because the outcome would be based on how you play it
-Every game has an end. You would only have that smile on your face, when you know that you have tried hard enough and finally win
-If you don't win and come to an end before you expected, just think of how would you feel? (this is what makes your mindset to be)
-Take in mind that some games do not give a second chance ;)
(This post just got inspired by the house bombed by an airplane on the TV. And then it just reminded me to how life was or is like a game)
What are your outlooks on life? It has been a while that I haven't think about it, cuz I'm just focusing on making it better each day. But have you ever had that flash in your head, when you think about it and ask yourself: What am I doing? what's the point? why I even have to do it? I used to think about it so much that it made me enter to a phase of depression.
There are so many quotes on what LIFE is, so life can be a game. No matter what it is, the point would be to think on the positive side of it. What can I say, is the Ying-Yang effect, in every goodness there is badness and vice versa (it always works for me to think like that =P)
So, Life as a game:
-You are the one playing it, no one can play it for you
-Every game has its obstables, otherwise, it won't be fun
-You never know how it ends, because the outcome would be based on how you play it
-Every game has an end. You would only have that smile on your face, when you know that you have tried hard enough and finally win
-If you don't win and come to an end before you expected, just think of how would you feel? (this is what makes your mindset to be)
-Take in mind that some games do not give a second chance ;)
Love Philosophy: Be a sensitive lover!
Love is so hard to find...would you agree? Luckily I found it more than 6 years ago..But maintaining it, is also a great task to take in mind. If you are are following this and you agree with it, then it means that you are a sensitive enough lover eager to have a happy relationship till the end of life ;)
Today I came back home as usual and my babe did not get back home yet. I got online to see if his skype was online, and then I assume that he might be having a hard day. I actually noticed it from the phone call I received during lunch break, when he was sharing with me about his frustration about a feng-shui master he previously hired. While having that on mind, I started to prepare dinner, to make sure that everything was ready by the time he gets home. This is how "being a sensitive lover" starts: You know that he/she is having a bad day and would like to create a nice atmosphere once you meet him/her.
He arrives home and you can "notice" his face (you need to be a sensitive person in order to notice something), not sad, not angry, but not lively. While we sit down and have dinner (of course I've already turned on the vocal jazz station that he likes to create a better atmosphere), I try not to pretend to be too happy, but use a caring tone of voice and ask how was his day and try to comforting him while he tells me, after listening for a while I also started to tell him about my day, which wasn't really a great day. But the lesson here would probably be:
-You need to be a sensitive lover to have a smooth and happy relationship
-You need to notice your partner's mood from time to time
-Create a nice atmosphere at home when you are with him/her and when you know that he/she is having a bad day
-Put him/her first before "you" on any conversation when he/she had a bad day
I won't say that I'm a perfect lover, but I do try to do my best to make a perfect relationship. By the end "Love" is about seeing the imperfections of each other and accepting them. But as human as we are, no efforts in relationship might lead to an end.
Today I came back home as usual and my babe did not get back home yet. I got online to see if his skype was online, and then I assume that he might be having a hard day. I actually noticed it from the phone call I received during lunch break, when he was sharing with me about his frustration about a feng-shui master he previously hired. While having that on mind, I started to prepare dinner, to make sure that everything was ready by the time he gets home. This is how "being a sensitive lover" starts: You know that he/she is having a bad day and would like to create a nice atmosphere once you meet him/her.
He arrives home and you can "notice" his face (you need to be a sensitive person in order to notice something), not sad, not angry, but not lively. While we sit down and have dinner (of course I've already turned on the vocal jazz station that he likes to create a better atmosphere), I try not to pretend to be too happy, but use a caring tone of voice and ask how was his day and try to comforting him while he tells me, after listening for a while I also started to tell him about my day, which wasn't really a great day. But the lesson here would probably be:
-You need to be a sensitive lover to have a smooth and happy relationship
-You need to notice your partner's mood from time to time
-Create a nice atmosphere at home when you are with him/her and when you know that he/she is having a bad day
-Put him/her first before "you" on any conversation when he/she had a bad day
I won't say that I'm a perfect lover, but I do try to do my best to make a perfect relationship. By the end "Love" is about seeing the imperfections of each other and accepting them. But as human as we are, no efforts in relationship might lead to an end.
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